Timeless
by sassysavvyo
Summary: He remembers the first time he saw her and the last time he saw her. She was like poison and wine in his veins. He couldn't get enough.


So, this is just a one-shot looking into Nathan's life. I couldn't get it out of my head as I started the next chapter of Things I Forgot At Birth, I hope to update it this week. I hope you enjoy my short story and if you feel up to it, leave a review! They always encourage me. Until we meet again, happy reading.

* * *

The first time Nathan Scott sees her, she's crying into her palms. He has a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watches the hair on her head wisp around from the wind off of the shore. He feels his hold from his mother's hand tighten as it remains clasped with his own.

"Why's she crying momma?"

His mothers blonde hair wisps around her as well. She clears her throat and shrugs as she continues to drag him up the beach. He halts his feet in the sand as he looks at the girl once more.

As if she senses his gaze, her head lifts from her hands but she continues to cry.

"Haley!"

He looks behind her and watches an older girl with matching hair run up the beach. The girl who was crying turns her head quickly and rushes to her feet as she begins to embrace the girl running toward her.

"You can't run off like that!"

He narrows his eyes as he watches the two girls clutching another. The older girl must have said something funny because he hears a faint laugh in his ears that causes him to smile. He wonders briefly what it would be like to have a sibling and what it feels like to be saved.

* * *

He's officially ten years old.

He stares at the clock across from his bed as he watches the red lights flicker from his desk. Tim Smith told him that the minute he turns ten, he'll grow hair on his face. He brings his hands up from under his Spiderman comforter and pats his face quickly.

No hair makes Tim Smith a liar.

His father says that sometimes people lie and that it's okay.

He doesn't agree but he found himself lying earlier at dinner when he said he liked his father's spaghetti with pesto sauce.

It sat funny in his mouth but he ate it anyway.

* * *

At school, Mrs. Durham gives him a sticker for his birthday. It has a birthday cake with the number ten on it with his names in the candles. He smiles down at it as he swings himself on the old swing-set.

Tim is swinging next to him but he decided not to bring up the hair on the face thing. He was having a good day.

"Why do you and Lucas have the same name?"

He never thought of that before, so he shrugs and pumps his legs higher. The higher off the ground, the more he felt free.

His hands gripped the chains of the swing as he pumped higher and higher until all he could see was blue sky.

"I mean, don't you think it's weird?"

He was now coming to a stop on the swing. He dug his feet into the dirt and shrugged again. "I don't think it matters. Lucas is cool." He wonders what it would be like if Lucas was his brother.

"Yeah, I guess." Tim mutters this as he sways side to side in his swing. "He's always with that girl, Haley James. That's kind of weird."

Nathan turns his gaze toward the small field across from the swing-set. He watches the blonde boy sits happily next to an auburn haired girl as they looked at the book sitting in her lap. From their animated faces, he can tell they are reading it aloud to each other.

"Yeah, weird."

* * *

"Nathan!"

He turns around slowly as he grips the straps of his Batman book-bag. His mother gave it to him that morning. It still felt stiff.

His eyes widen as he watches Haley James skip her way toward him with a large smile. Her hands are behind her back and her two front teeth are missing. "Yeah?"

She rubs her lips together as she shoves her left hand toward his chest. "Happy birthday, Nathan."

He holds the blue construction paper between his fingers as he nods his head. She skips away before he can thank her but he stares at her as she skips back down the hallway.

His hands are clammy as he looks down at the card in his hands. Her cursive is better than his but he thinks she makes the letter 'p' weird. However, he can't keep the smile off his face as he walks toward the bus.

* * *

"Five more and then you can eat."

He sighs because he's tired and he doesn't want to play basketball on his birthday. His dad stands before him with a Ravens baseball cap on and a soft grin.

His father hasn't even told him happy birthday yet.

He grips the basketball in his hands and sighs once more. He wants to run around or ride his bike but he can't. He learned not to bother asking that after what happened a week ago.

He looks at the hoop and takes a deep breath as he starts to slowly dribble the ball between his hands. The sound of leather against the hard pavement makes a small grin cross his face. However, when he shoots to score a free-throw, it bounces off the backboard and lands a few feet behind him.

"Dammit, Nathan! You're not thinking!"

"But dad-"

"Just forget it."

He watches his father shake his head before he turns his back and heads back toward the house.

He swallows and clears his throat as it become dry.

He feels his eyes water but he bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying. He learned long ago not to cry.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the folded birthday card in his pocket that was made just for him and smiles.

* * *

When he is twelve, he's placed on the same junior league basketball team as Lucas Scott. A few months ago, his father and mother both explained to him that Lucas was in fact, his brother.

Though it excited him at the first, it quickly faded when his fathers words started to frame his brain. _"He's not one of us, Nathan. He's nothing."_

Nothing.

He wondered if his father would say he was nothing if things were differently.

* * *

"You could have passed me the ball."

He shakes his head as he heads toward the bench with a heavy breath. The blonde boy that looks more and more like him scowls as he sits a few spaces down the bench. His father had told him to never pass the ball to Lucas and he was simply doing what he was told.

"You know what, Nathan?"

He turns his head as he locks eyes with someone who shares the same blood as him. Their eyes were similar as were the shape of their noses. Otherwise, they were polar opposites in looks and personality. He bites the inside of his cheek before he speaks. "What?"

"You're a real jerk."

He doesn't expect it to hurt but it does. He only shakes his head as he turns his attention back toward the boys running through the play a few feet ahead.

His father said Coach Johnson was a real piece of work. He doesn't agree.

"Lucas!"

He turns his head as he watches the familiar pig-tails come into view. She wears a small smile as she holds the small blue pom-pom's in her hands. Her front teeth had grown in and he found himself staring blankly at her face until he thought better of it and turned away.

* * *

The first time he kisses a girl, he almost misses.

He almost misses because Brooke Davis can't stop giggling as they stand awkwardly together in the small closet underneath Tim Smith's stairs.

He feels nervous as he watches the dimples grow on her face as he moves his lips closer to hers. Her lips are soft and they taste like strawberries.

He kissed her again just to be sure.

* * *

"You know who's becoming a total babe?"

He turns his head as he watches Angelo 'Vegas' Giovanni pour himself a cup of 7-UP. The girl's had let hours again and his lips still tingled at the thought.

"Haley James."

His hand stills as it holds the slice of homemade pizza. He wasn't sure why the mention of her name caused a weird feeling in his stomach. In that moment, he imagined what it would be like to kiss her underneath Tim's stairs. Would her lips be soft? He imagined they would be. He wonders if Lucas knows the answer. The thought makes him mad.

He can't stop the words before the flow out of his mouth. "She's a nobody. Don't waste your time on her."

"Yeah, Nate's right." Tim pipes in as he bites into his fifth piece of pizza.

He doesn't feel right but he doesn't say anything more.

That's the first and last time Haley James was mentioned at Tim Smith's house.

* * *

On the fourth game of the junior league season, he notices that Lucas isn't at warm-ups. He doesn't say anything about it but Jake Jagielski does.

"Coach J, where's Luke?"

Coach Johnson shakes his head as he looks at the bleachers. He follows his gaze and lands on his father sitting proud in the middle of them.

Coach Johnson shakes his head and turns back toward his clipboard.

It simply doesn't need to be said.

* * *

"You're a real jerk, you know."

He turns his head from inside of his locker as he comes face to face with the scowl of Haley James. It stuns him at first but after a few minutes he feels a scowl make it's way to his own face. "Why do you say that?"

"Lucas quit the team because of you and your dad."

He stares at her blankly for only a second before he shrugs. "Lucas quitting is not my problem." He watches something fire up in her eyes but then they turn so dark they almost look black.

"You're just like him."

He tilts his head to the side as he slowly closes his locker. "Who?"

She shakes her head right back as she plays with a weird looking button on her sweater. "Your father."

This time when she walks away, she doesn't skip and he doesn't watch her leave.

* * *

The first time he gets drunk he's fifteen years old. Tim Smith's older brother threw a party after winning against Oak Lake.

He thinks it's a weird reason to celebrate since they win almost every year against Oak Lake.

He however doesn't think twice as he consumes the liquid placed into his red cup. It burns as it makes its way down his throat and not in a good way. It burns so much that his eyes sting and he has to shake his head a few times to get used to the taste.

"Nathan, that girl is totally checking you out."

He turns to focus on whoever is speaking to him. He thinks it's Brandon Roth but he can't be sure. His vision was hazy and his hands felt like they were on fire. "Who?"

The voice speaks again but he can't hear it.

He however feels the hand that wraps around his own and hears the soft purr in his ear. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

He loses his virginity in the back of a car. It doesn't take long but she didn't seem to complain.

He tells all of his friends the next day.

* * *

"This is stupid." He turns a few times in his mirror as he looks at the dark blue dress shirt his mother laid out for him. The cuffs felt too tight on his wrists. He felt like he was being suffocated as well.

"Look at my boy! You've grown over a foot!"

He turns to look in the doorway of his room to watch his mother snap a quick photo of him from a disposable camera. Yesterday was the first time he had seen her in a month.

He grimaces as he turns his attention back to the mirror. "Do I have to go to this?"

"Nathan! It's your first dance! Of course you have to go!"

He turns from side to side again as he sighs. "I look stupid."

He feels a tug on his sleeve and turns to face his mother. Maybe he had grown a foot because he's now eye level with the top of her head.

"You look handsome."

"Of course he does." He turns his attention back toward the doorway as he watches his father smile tightly from it. "He's my son."

All he can think about it Lucas.

* * *

He happily accepts the small flask that Vegas Giovanni hands him as they watch their peers sway back and forth.

Not only does he feel stupid, he realizes that dances are also stupid.

Girls stand opposite of him with their friends as they glanced over and whispered into each other's ears. It was irritating and annoying to him.

"Wow, look at that."

He takes a steady sip from the flask before he turns and follows Vegas's gaze. His own eyes widen as he watches Lucas Scott walk into the gym with Haley James attached to his arm.

For a moment, all he can focus on is her.

Her usual messy mane was curled softly around her shoulders and she wore a dark blue dress that ended after her knees.

She was prettier than any other girl there.

He turned back around and brought the flask back to his lips.

* * *

"Are you drunk?"

He laughs as looks out the window. His father had picked him up less than ten minutes ago from that stupid school dance. He couldn't wait for the next four months to fly by so he could drive himself.

Suddenly, the car comes to a stretching halt. He hits his head on the glove department even though he has his seatbelt on.

"Don't fucking mess with me, Nathan."

He pushes his lips together and feels his bones sobering as he takes in the anger on his father's face.

"I already have one disappointment as a son. I don't need another."

* * *

"You're such an asshole!"

He rolls his eyes at this because lately, that's all Peyton Sawyer can manage to say around him.

They have been dating for three months and it's his first official relationship. He also sucks at it.

See, he couldn't give her an explanation as to why he kissed Theresa Gibbs the night before. He had been too drunk to notice and he honestly didn't care. He didn't care about anything except for basketball.

"Gee, Peyton great vocabulary."

Her hazel eyes widen as she throws her sketchbook across the room. "Get out you fucking-."

"I came here to escape my parents. Thank you."

He turns back toward the doorway as he watches Brooke Davis smirk as she leans against the doorframe. He shakes his head but finds a smirk make it's way toward his face. Brooke had lost all of her baby fat the year before and he openly made sure she knew that she looked good. He didn't dare risking that now though.

"What do you want, Brooke?" Peyton asks through clenched teeth and for a second he worries that she might bite him.

"There's a party at ten and we're going."

"Like hell we are."

Brooke narrows her eyes as she strides into the room. "P. Sawyer, come on. We owe this to ourselves and to all future cheerleaders."

He knows Brooke is only on the verge of begging because Peyton was the only one who could legally drive. He would find himself doing it as well.

"Fine."

He smirks and turns to Brooke as she licks her lips.

* * *

"Fuck."

He grins against the throat he's currently latched onto. He licks and sucks as he hears the vibrations underneath his tongue.

He likes fucking.

And he likes fucking Brooke Davis.

Once he comes, he hears her reach her high. She purrs into his ear before latching her lips around it.

The sex is good but all he can think about is how he's glad he's not the only fucked up one. He might not be a good boyfriend but she's not a good friend either.

* * *

After his first varsity game, his father pats him on the back and walks away with a word. He was only a sophomore and the first to be placed in a varsity game.

It still wasn't enough for his father.

Nothing was ever enough.

* * *

When he's learning about Julius Caesar in English class, he notices that Haley James' eyes light up as she flips the pages of her textbook. She was the only person he knew in his English class and he wondered why the hell she was even in a class with him.

She was smart.

A hell of a lot smarter than he was.

He found himself staring at her a lot in class, too.

It annoyed him on no end that no matter what he was doing or supposed to be doing, his eyes always fleeted over toward her.

When she would finish reading material for class, she would pull another book out of her book-bag. It was a different book everyday and he wondered how she had the time.

Between basketball, practicing, more basketball and school, he barely had time to sleep.

He sure as hell didn't have the best grades either.

He wasn't stupid but he just didn't care about school. He didn't have time.

His father had a direct plan for him. Two more years of high school. Two years of college and then the NBA.

As he drifted his eyes toward the part of the story where Brutus betrays Julius, he wonders when his dreams ended and his father's took over.

* * *

The second time Haley James tutors him, he's a goner.

Not in the physically sense but more so in the mental.

Sure his plan to get Lucas off of the basketball team was working in his favor but the more she spoke the more he found himself wanting to listen.

He was sixteen now and he was also dumped by the ever famous Peyton Sawyer officially. She had made sure he knew it was official by breaking every Tupac Shakur album he owned. Not only did that piss him off but it made his yearning for her quickly end.

He shook his head at his thoughts as he watched Haley chew on the end of her pen.

He was supposed to be writing a paper about the French Revolution but he sure as hell didn't want to focus on that.

Last week during their first tutoring session, he knew exactly how to act and talk but she had thrown him off of a loop. She didn't take anything he said and quickly brushed off all his tactics of flirting.

Her fire caused him work harder.

But her fire also made him feel that weird feeling in his stomach that seemed so foreign.

He could hear Tim Smith's plan to seduce the petite tutor before him but suddenly he didn't want too. He didn't want to do anything that would hurt her.

It frustrated him beyond belief.

"Nathan? Are you even paying attention?"

He snapped his eyes up from where she had stopped biting her pen and cleared his throat. He nodded quickly and rubbed the back of his neck as he re-read the same sentence for the seventh time.

* * *

"You're home late."

He sighed as he set down his warm-up bag and book-bag by the front door. He placed his keys in the small dish next to him as he kicked off his shoes. "I'm getting tutored after practice. You know that."

His father nodded as he remained sitting on the couch. A glass of whiskey in his hand. "You better not let this get in the way of basketball."

He rolled his eyes. "Can't play basketball if I'm failing my classes, _dad_."

"Lose the fucking attitude, _son_."

"Whatever."

He headed toward the stairs but the sound of glass breaking caused him to stop. He felt like a young kid. He only nodded his head and mumbled out an apology before he headed up the stairs and away from his father.

* * *

"Look, I've been thinking a lot about this tutoring thing. I'm sorry. I just don't think it's a good idea."

He turns to look at her as she sits beside him on the dock. He doesn't know why it stings him but it does. He feels his defenses rise and his breath to come out in harsh wisps. "Because of Lucas?"

If there's anything he's learned about Haley James, it's that she's not subtle. "Well, obviously." She clears her throat. "I don't know what I was thinking. There's no good that can possibly come of this."

He wants to do something irrational. Well, it may be rational for him to kiss her but he knows it sure as hell won't sit right for her. He speaks in the same defensive tone he had earlier. "Really? I thought I saw you guys fight back there."

She scoffs as she turns her head away from him and out toward the blackened sky. "Meaning what? That I should keep tutoring you to stick it to him? Maybe that's how they do things in Nathan land but I'm not gonna do that to my best friend."

He sits next to her silently and wonders what it would be like to have someone care about him like that.

* * *

The day of his father's annual basketball appreciation party, he realizes he wants to kiss Haley James or maybe do more than kissing.

He doesn't want to just fuck her though. Even the thought feels weird in his stomach.

Brooke Davis had dared his ex-girlfriend to kiss the other spawn of Satan.

It didn't sting him in a way he knew Brooke was trying to get out of him. If anything, it caused him to wonder what it would be like to kiss Haley James.

He left his circle of friends with that thought in mind.

Maybe he would ditch this party and head over to the café. He knew she was working and he had a weird feeling in his stomach.

The weird feeling had been sticking around whenever he thought of her.

But suddenly, as if the clouds have opened up and decided to allow him something decent in his life, she appears right before him. She's wearing her trademark jean-jacket and she looks so out of place. He likes it.

"Haley?" She jumps slightly in the air when he makes his way toward her. He watches a rosy shade come to her face and he finds his own smirk widen at it. "What are you doing here?"

She mentions something about his mother needing cakes but he doesn't care. He was so happy she was here.

"Do you want a drink?" Maybe a little alcohol in the small tutor won't have her fully reject the idea of kissing him. Not that he really panicked much about it. They had grown somewhat close over the past three weeks. Even Lucas knew he was getting tutored by her.

They even had inside jokes and she laughed at his lame attempts to conjure one.

Of course life and the heavens above wouldn't be kind to him because Brooke appears out of nowhere and mentions something about a love note. This confuses and intrigues him. The taunting tone Brooke uses causes his bones to turn ice cold but compared to the look of disgust Haley gives him, it's nothing. "Haley-."

"Stay away from me."

He watches her walk away for what seems like the hundredth time in his life and reaches for the closet red cup to him.

* * *

He was a real mess up.

He blames his father for it really but maybe all he can blame is himself. He allows himself to grow up and be manipulated by the man for such a long time.

He wasn't sure what caused him to walk from his house toward the direction of Haley James' at seven o'clock in the morning but he had.

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he felt the cold air against him even through his sweater. He just needed to tell her how he felt. How he saw the sun and the moon rise and fall with her. How when she spoke about Martin Luther King Jr. or Abraham Lincoln, all he could do was stare at her in astonishment. How he knew that she had exactly fourteen moles on the parts of her body that he could see. How she had screwed up his sleep schedule for the past month.

Once he stands behind the small home, a small makes it's way toward his mouth for a brief second. When he dropped her off after tutoring sessions, she was so self conscious about the size of her house but he thought it was perfect.

He doesn't want to try the front door because he doesn't think he can deal with talking to someone other than Haley at the moment. The thought of her father answering the door causes his blood pressure to rise.

He looks around the sidewalk and quickly sees a row of small pebbles sitting before him. He smirks and he picks up a handful of them. He misses the first time against the window hoping it to be hers but he gets it the second time.

"Trying to wake up my parents? That's their room."

He turns so quickly he feels winded. He drops the pebbles from his fingers as he stares at her in the morning light.

Her hair is surrounding her shoulders and she clutching the dark blue robe closer to herself. For a brief moment he wonders if she's walking home from Lucas Scott's. He decides not to think about it.

His hesitation to speak has caused her to walk past him and head toward the small house. "What! Haley, look. I need to apologize, okay?"

She turns around quickly and he can see the familiar flame behind her eyes. "You should write them in bulk if you're going to hand apologies out that often."

That stings him but he's sure what he feels isn't half compared to what she felt last night when she thought he was embarrassed to be seen with her. It was so far from the truth. He was the one she should be embarrassed about. "Can we just - I don't know how to do this, alright? I'm not like you."

Her face scrunches up as she looks up at him. He thinks about a ten year old Haley James standing before him with no teeth. "What does that mean?"

He sighs but decides that if he wants Haley James in his life, he needs to beat around the bush and just say what he needs to say. "I screw up a lot, alright? And being around you, I just - I don't want to be that guy anymore."

The look on her face shows him that she hadn't expected that as an answer. "Well, who do you want to be, Nathan?"

Just say it. The voice in his head is screaming at him that this is his chance. This is the only moment he might possibly have. "I want to be someone who's good enough to be seen with you."

She's calm for a moment but soon her eyes widen and he can see the fire behind them. "Well you should've thought of that last night! You know, I keep - I keep putting myself out there and you keep blowing it! It's probably a good thing because at this point there's nothing you could say or do that's going to surprise me-."

He kisses her.

He kisses her and it ignites everything in his bones.

When he pulls away as leaves her eyes closed for a moment before opening them. "Except that. You shouldn't have done that, Nathan."

He wants to kiss her again. "I wanted to."

She nods her head and before he can gather enough air, she's throwing her arms around him and kissing him back.

* * *

He learns that Haley James likes kissing. He's pretty certain she likes kissing more than he does. Well, maybe she doesn't.

She's like poison and wine in his veins. He can't get enough.

* * *

He has an unspoken bond with his brother. It was weird to call him that but it seemed to fit now. It fit in the life he had made for himself as soon as Haley James kissed him back three months ago.

He was sitting next to his girlfriend as he heard her soft giggle in his ear.

They were sitting at the café eating Karen Roe's famous turkey bacon sandwich. Not only was he sitting at a place he never thought he would, he was sitting across from his brother.

Haley couldn't seem to stop the smile spreading across her face as she sat beside him.

Ever since Lucas Scott woke up from a coma from his car accident, he seemed to be persistent in his life. He didn't mind, which was weird.

He would talk to his brother in passing at school or even before basketball practice. Sure it wasn't life changing discussions but it was something.

It made Haley happy and surprisingly, it made him happy too.

* * *

It was the first night in his new apartment and he was sharing it with her. It felt so rewarding to be away from his controlling father and under-bearing mother.

"Nathan - I.."

His brow rose as he looked down at his girlfriend spread out underneath him. Her skin felt like silk and he wanted to ravish it with his mouth.

They had been taking things slow and as the unknown feelings began to seep into his chest he realized that taking it slow was for more than just her benefit. "What is it?"

He brought his hand from her waist up into her hair. It was curled in the soft ringlets and he smiled at them as he wove his fingers between them. When she didn't answer, he grew nervous.

She was biting her lip and signaled that she wanted to sit up.

His heart was beating so fast and his hands felt clammy.

"I..God this is hard to say."

He never thought he would hear Haley James claim she couldn't say something. "Just spit it out, baby." His voice was soft and protective. Her face relaxed at it.

She gestured toward their naked chests and he could see that hers was becoming a deep red from nerves. "I've never done anything like this before."

"What do you mean?"

"Nathan..do you need me to spell it out?"

He almost smirked at her tone but he didn't. He thought about it for a moment and his eyes widened. He wasn't sure why he was so surprised in that moment but he was. He was also glad no one had ever seen her this way. No one knew that if you sucked on the spot underneath her right ear she moaned or that her eyes grew dark when he would grind their lower halves together.

"It doesn't matter."

Her eyes widened even more. "What? Nath-"

He brought his finger to her lips and smiled. "It doesn't matter, okay? I'm not going to pressure you into anything. It's kind of all new to me too and I want it to be right."

She smiled and he realized that for the first time he finally said the right thing.

* * *

He knows he loves her on a Tuesday.

Well, maybe he always had but he knew exactly then.

They were sitting on the beach and enjoying the warmth of the sun above them.

She laughed softly when he kissed her jaw but she continued to read the book in her lap.

* * *

He's pretty sure this is the first official fight as a couple and it's a pretty bad one.

He's never been more afraid in his life than he was when she walked out of his apartment in tears. He honestly didn't even know why those photos of his ex-girlfriend were on his computer but they had been.

The look she gave him was one he knew he would remember for the rest of his life and it was a look he never wanted to receive ever again.

So, he walked to her house from his small crappy apartment in the rain to her house. All the lights were off and he actually tried knocking on the door.

No one was home.

He debated running back to his apartment but he thought better of it. He was soaked to the bone but Haley James was worth any cold he could get.

He sat on the front porch and waited.

He was glad he did because four minutes later, she was walking up the sidewalk.

He briefly thought about their first kiss. It was in this yard and it seemed like a lifetime ago.

He rose to his feet and gave a speech that he knew would make her irritated. He was apologizing to her again but she needed to know. She needed to know that if he lost her then he was nothing. Her face relaxed when he said that he loved her and she smirked when he mentioned how hot she looked in the rain.

When he kissed her in the pouring rain, he knew he wanted to kiss her everyday for the rest of his life.

* * *

The night they kiss in the rain is also the night he asked her to marry him.

She thinks he's joking with her since she wanted to wait to have sex until marriage. "Nathan, we're sixteen years old. Sixteen year olds don't get married. It's just not normal."

"I don't want to be normal. Not with you."

Her smirk drops when she realizes he's serious.

She's silent for a few minutes and then she answers him.

* * *

They get married in the early morning.

Her parents are standing behind her and there's a preach standing between him and her.

She was wearing her mother's wedding dress and he couldn't think of anyone who's ever looked better than her. She looked like an angel.

He knows the moment she says he vows that he's not good enough for her but he's too selfish to care.

* * *

He's never made love before but he's pretty sure it's his favorite thing to do. They moved so slow together as they studied new pieces of another that they hadn't yet experience.

The fact that he was the only one ever to be inside of her causes him to almost lose it before he's even begun.

He feels her love.

He feels his own.

When's it's over, he holds her close and kisses all over her face.

She smiles as she cries with a smile. Her hand lands on his face and she strokes it in a way that only she can. "I love you, so much."

His heart soars. "I love you."

* * *

She sings around the apartment.

It doesn't matter if she's in the shower, in bed, in the living room or in the kitchen. It sounds so beautiful in his ears and he knows he'll never grow tired of hearing it.

They fought about the keyboard he bought her but she uses it almost everyday now.

She plays songs he knows or she plays songs on a wim as she makes them.

She asks him to sit in front of the keyboard as she's playing.

He thinks it's weird at first and asks her why.

"I need some inspiration."

* * *

The day she preforms at Tric, is the day he feels jealous of almost every male looking at his wife.

She's dressed in white pants and a black tank-top. She worried so much about what she was going to wear and he didn't understand why because she looked good in everything.

He had strong urge to standing in front of the keyboard and glare at everyone who stared at the low cut tank top.

It wasn't even like she was trying to get their attention.

Haley James-Scott gained attention without trying and he hated it.

* * *

She begins working at a recording studio.

On a Thursday, she comes home after midnight.

He knows because he can't sleep without her.

He pretends to be asleep when she walks in but once she lays behind him and kisses his neck, he turns and kisses her fully on the mouth.

She seems surprised by the movement but she doesn't complain.

It makes love to her three times that night and he can't get the smell of cheap cologne out of his nose.

* * *

"I don't want you working with him!"

She's crying in front of him as she wraps her sweater tighter around her body. "He's helping me with my music, Nathan."

"He's trying to get into your pants!"

Her tears halt and her face turns hard. She doesn't say anything as she storms back to their bedroom.

He walks out the front door and goes to a place he never expected he would go.

His brother's.

* * *

When he comes home that night, she kisses him hard on the mouth and apologies to him. She tells him time and time again that she won't work with Chris Keller anymore. Even as she speaks words he wants to hear, he can't help but feel sick to his stomach.

She kisses his face over and over again and he can tell she's been crying.

He kisses her back but doesn't feel the warm sensation he usually does.

* * *

He felt like his father when he gave her that ultimatum. He was sick with himself and pissed off at his father even more than usual.

But she didn't understand that he turned down High Flyers this upcoming summer because three months away from her sounded like torture.

He still shouldn't have made her pick.

When he realizes that, he's already twenty-five minutes from home. So he runs.

He runs so fast that he can barely hear his feet hitting the pavement.

He runs because he's scared.

He runs because he loves his wife.

And he runs because there is a fifty percent chance she already left him.

It takes him fifteen minutes to get home.

He throws open the familiar red door and screams into the apartment. Everything looks the same. Their wedding wall on the wall to his left and her keyboard sitting on-top of the coffee table. He feels a sense of relief but the apartment remains silent.

"Haley!"

He runs down the hall and into their bedroom. The bed is still disheveled from their activities before the Wreckers concert but the rest of the room is pitch black.

He walks into the bathroom and finds it empty. It causes his heart to race and his vision to cloud. "Haley?"

He walks toward the closet and notices that a could portion of the closet is gone.

She was gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

* * *

"Nathan, come on man."

He can hear this brother through his front door but he doesn't move from the couch. He isn't sure the last time he even moved.

There's another pound on the door. "She wouldn't want you to be like this."

He stays silent because he doesn't know who she is anymore.

* * *

She calls him when she's in Dallas, Texas. She's not sure why she bothers because it's clear she doesn't love him the way he loves her.

He answers anyway but he slurs his speech.

He's almost drunk and he's nursing his seventh beer. "What do you want?"

She's silent for a moment and he can hear her let out a breath. "I didn't think you were going to answer."

"Almost didn't."

She sighs and even through his drunken mind, he can picture her face. Her eyes are downcast as she cradles the phone to her ear. Her bottom lip is probably bleeding from biting down on it.

"I'm worried about you."

His heart soars and he rolls his eyes at how affected he is by her words. "Sure seems like it."

"Nathan..I love you. You know I love you but like I told you before, I'm doing this because I want to see if I can make it. I want to know if my music is good enough to change and help people like it's always helped me-."

He hears another voice in the background. One he recognizes. "Is he there with you?"

She stays silent for a moment. "Nathan-."

He hangs up the phone.

* * *

He's actually standing and sober. He didn't think that could be possible but it was.

His ex-girlfriend and his brother were currently cleaning up his kitchen. He was grateful for their company because the silence was driving him mad.

* * *

When he hits the concrete wall, he feels happy.

He feels happy because he doesn't want to feel the numbing pain that's been circling his body for the past month and a half.

He sees her face before his eyes close.

* * *

He has developed friendships with people he never knew he would and he's developed a better friendship with people he's already known.

He's sober and his leg is healing happily in it's small cast.

He doesn't feel numb anymore but he doesn't feel anything else, either.

* * *

When his leg is healed and he's over his head with medical bills, he decides to move back in with his mother.

It was news to him that his father was officially out of the house.

He was grateful for that but if he knew anything about his father, it was that he was trying his hardest to get the affections back from his mother.

"Is that all you have, sweetheart?"

He turns to face his mother. Ever since his accident, she's been so reliable. She's stood by him and she's helped him cope with things in a way he never knew she could. He points behind him toward the door. "I have one more bag."

She nods and walks so she can wrap her arms around him. "I'm so happy you're home, Nathan. Things will be better for us. I promise."

He nods and barely returns her embrace.

There's a knock on the door and his mother signals for him to get it as she carries two of his duffel bags up the stairs toward his room.

He sighs and shakes his head before he reaches the door to pull it open.

Like magic or something of the sort, she's there.

Her hair is blonde and she's holding a duffel bag of her own.

For a moment he can't speak. All he can think about for a moment are the moments they made love in their small apartment. He shakes his head. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

She looks so nervous. He wonders if she's gone to the apartment yet. Since it's not even their apartment anymore.

"I want to come home, Nathan."

He hates how his body reacts to her words. It grows warm and tingly and he feels like spring arriving after a long and dark winter.

He can't let her in. Not again. "Haley.. this is a really bad timing...I-."

He's cut off when his mother storms behind him calling his name. His father was in an accident.

He goes to High Flyers and plays basketball and talks about basketball.

He doesn't talk about anything else except for basketball. He doesn't have the time and he doesn't want his heart to hurt again.

* * *

_"Where are you now? As I'm swimming through the stereo, I'm writing you a symphony of sound."_

He's sitting next to Peyton Sawyer on the first day of school. They are seated beside another on the small picnic tables in the quad. Who knew that on the first day of his senior year, he would be close friends with his ex-girlfriend, newly seventeen and separated from his wife. "What song is this?"

Peyton looks up from her iPod that's currently playing into both of their ears.

He likes the song because he can easily relate it to himself and everything he felt last year. He only allows himself to think about the end of last year for a brief second before he closes off his mind.

Peyton smiles as she answers him.

He smiles back and continues to listen.

* * *

His eyes always look for her in the hallway.

When he sees her, he looks away.

* * *

He misses her when he goes to sleep. Mostly because he's in a large and empty house without a parent and mostly because he had gotten so used to sleeping beside her. The bed at their apartment was smaller than the one he was currently in.

This bed was huge and they could easily lay in the center and still be feet away from the end of it.

He wonders what she's doing now but shakes his head as he turns on his side and falls asleep.

* * *

He feels angry toward her. He hates that he doesn't feel anything else but his first initial reaction is anger. It would mask the feeling of pain, loss and love that so easily consumed him.

But when she looks at hims with those sad brown eyes, he feels every emotion anyway.

* * *

It's been at least five months since he's been inside of his wife. However, when he looks down at her below him with a moan escaping her mouth, it feels like nothing has changed. She feels warm and soft and he gets lost in it.

He kisses the spot below her ear and he sucks on her breasts as he continues to lose himself in her.

He can't get enough of her.

He was like a caged beast that was unmasked to what he most desired.

But like most things involving Haley James-Scott, his body reacted before his mind did.

* * *

He didn't know where they stood with one another.

He didn't know mostly because he didn't want to put a direct word on what it was they were. That would cause things to unravel and the things they haven't discussed to become needed. He couldn't deal with that now. He had basketball and he had school.

And he sort of had her.

They would spend almost every night together. He liked to think that they were making up for lost time but he couldn't be sure.

Being with her was like pouring wine into his veins. The familiar feelings were creeping back but quickly. He told her he didn't want to be vulnerable with her again but he already was. She still had his heart and he knew he had hers.

Getting back on track was a sure a lot harder than getting off it.

* * *

He makes love to her slowly after his uncle's funeral.

He feels himself studying her movements intensely because he's afraid that he'll never be in this position again.

The school shooting scared the shit out of everything he was made of. The thought of losing his wife forever was enough to snap his mind out of all the thoughts clouding it. Life and time was short. He knew that because his uncle was shot without a moment's notice.

He hands shook as they clasped with hers.

"Are you okay?"

He nods his head because he's so overcome with emotion.

She untangles her hands from his and cups his face lovingly as she kisses him. "Talk to me."

He's shaking so bad.

And for the first time since the night she left for the tour months ago, he cries.

* * *

When he stands at the alter with uncle, he can't keep the grin off of his face. Mostly because he can't shake the feeling of utter happiness that's coursing through his veins. He's renewing his vows with the woman who's had his heart for what seems like forever. He never wants the feeling he had now to go away.

Even though their small beach wedding will be his favorite memory, he knows that standing before all their family and friends is what Haley has always wanted.

Her big wedding meant her happiness and that's all he wanted.

He feels nervous as he looks at the mass of people sitting in rows before him.

The weather was perfect as was the everything else about the day.

Peyton Sawyer walks down the aisle first. She grins at him and gives him a thumbs-up sign. Who would have known that Peyton was someone he considered to be a best friend. He knew his wife felt the same.

Brooke Davis followed shortly after. He noticed that her dress was of course shorter than Peyton's but that's not what caught his attention.

No, what caught his attention was a good twenty feet behind Brooke.

There she was.

In a dress that made her looking unreal.

Her hair was curled around her shoulders and she held purple flowers in her hands.

His heart raced so much that he felt like he might pass out from it.

He wouldn't take back anything that happened all those months ago because it lead him to right here.

* * *

He likes London because it rains everyday and they rarely leave their bedroom.

He's made love to her on every surface of the room as well.

* * *

When he gets the phone-call he's waited his whole life for from Duke University his wife tells him that she's pregnant.

Their apartment felt even smaller than is was and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He was only seventeen years old. He couldn't be a father.

He asks her how long she's known and she replies in a soft unsure voice. "A few weeks."

"A few weeks!"

He doesn't know what he's feeling so when she asks him, he storms out.

* * *

"Nathan, look!"

She was officially six months pregnant at the beginning of March. He didn't understand how they had a child for so long without even knowing but now he couldn't be happier. Well, something close to happy. He felt scared more.

She lifted up her shirt so it laid underneath her breasts. Her stomach was hard and almost perfectly round. You could definitely tell she was pregnant now. It caused his heart to hammer in his chest with fright and something that resembled pride.

"Give me your hand."

He felt his son kick for the first time and all his fears flew away.

* * *

In true Haley James-Scott fashion, her timing couldn't have been worse.

He feels his graduation robes cling to him as he follows the his wife toward the ambulance. She was in the middle of her valedictorian speech when she announced to the whole gym that she was having her baby.

The fear in his bones was stronger than ever now. Especially as he walked his panting wife toward the blaring red vehicle.

"Are you scared?"

He glances down at her as he keeps a steady hand on her waist. He can't lie to her. "Shitless."

"Me too."

* * *

He doesn't think he'll ever grow tired of holding his son. The small boy fits perfectly in his arm. All the main fears he felt are still there but they seemed to fly away the moment the doctor's placed him into his arms.

James Lucas Scott was seven pounds and three ounces and to him, he was the most perfect thing in the world.

* * *

Juggling college and a baby weren't easy.

The sleeplessness that most college students felt seemed like nothing compared to the ache in his bones.

He and Haley decided on a small college named Maryland.

They had gotten a small apartment in walking distance to campus but that didn't seem to help anything at hand.

James Lucas Scott had a colic.

He cried all day and all night.

It was exhausting and as a new parent, he felt so helpless toward his son.

She handled to better than he did. She was patient and kind and would always accept the strangled cries with ease.

They found out together that pushing Jamie in his stroller not only calmed him but stopped his cries all together. They would take him for long walks on the old but beautiful campus or they would push the stroller around the apartment when he started crying at three in the morning.

Having a baby wasn't easy but he wouldn't change anything.

* * *

He wasn't sure who started it but they soon started calling their son, Jamie. He was simple and easy to say when they were running around the apartment getting ready for classes or practice.

He was alone with his son on a Sunday.

Haley was picking up a shift at the local diner and he was laying across the couch with his son sitting happily on his stomach.

He thought it was weird that his son was going to be two years old in three months. Getting there wasn't easy but he learned a lot.

He held the chubby hand of his toddler in his as he watched his son giggle at the feeling of his stomach rumbling underneath him. "Daddy's stomach made a weird noise, huh?"

His son let out a beautiful laugh and he couldn't help but grin.

Jamie was learning new things everyday. He took pride that his first word was 'ball'.

He bounced Jamie lightly against his stomach and smiled more at the sound. He was fascinated in everything his son did.

So when Jamie uttered a word full of laughter, his heart stopped. "What did you say?"

Jamie pushed his small chubby hand against his face as he spoke clearly. "Daddy."

* * *

When Jamie was five years old, they got their first house.

It was small but it was in Tree Hill.

He loved it and he knew his family did too.

His dreams of being drafted in the NBA, seemed far in reach but he had a family. He had a beautiful wife, a smart son and a college degree in business. He had everything he never thought he would.

* * *

They get news of Jimmy James' death in the early morning or late night depending on how you look at it. His wife cried for what seemed like eternity and the sound pierced straight through him.

The drove to Florida for the funeral and Jamie seemed so unaware of what was happening.

He wondered if he was the same way when he was that age.

However, despite Jamie not knowing what was causing his mother to cry so much, he remained at her side, clutching her hand.

* * *

When Jamie turns six, his brother returns home from his honeymoon with Lindsey Strauss.

Jamie lets out a squeal when his uncle appears and he see's Haley cry from her spot in the kitchen as she embraces her best friend.

He clears his throat and makes his way toward his brother with a smile on his face.

* * *

He starts working with Clay Evans when he's twenty-three years old. Together, they start a sport agency.

He feels like he's accomplished something all on his own.

They get their first client to sign with them on September 10th.

He calls it beginners luck but Haley kisses him and says it's more than that.

* * *

His relationship with his mother grows stronger after he watched Haley deal with the loss of losing her father.

His mother loves Jamie and Haley.

It's enough for him.

* * *

When he's twenty-five, he asks Haley for another baby. She looks surprised for a moment before she sits herself in his lap and kisses him softly on the mouth.

She tells him that she took a home test that morning and that it was positive.

He grins and kisses her again.

* * *

He wasn't sure what he felt when he held his daughter for the first time. It was terrifying and joyful at the same time.

Lydia Lee Scott was six pounds and two ounces.

She was so small that he felt like he was going to break her.

Lydia was a quiet baby with a curious mind.

He was happy he didn't have to deal with a colic baby again. Even though he knew it was would be easier since he wasn't juggling college courses, he couldn't deal with the feeling of helpless he felt six years ago.

* * *

Lydia is a daddies girl. Everyone tells him, including his son.

* * *

Jamie likes baseball more than basketball.

And unlike his own father, he doesn't pressure his son to chose basketball.

* * *

He stays up until three in the morning one day, learning everything he can about baseball.

* * *

When Jamie turns fourteen, he feels old.

He feels so old because his son is resembling a younger version of him everyday. His smirk, his hair even is growing in darker.

He's happy that his daughter is still only seven. He couldn't deal with a girl version of him at fourteen.

The thought causes him to shudder and without asking her, he gives all responsibilities of that to Haley.

* * *

There were moments in his life that terrified him. His father's harsh words at a young age, the school shooting that seemed like a life time ago, and the moment his daughter fell out of a tree.

He was sitting on the back patio with Haley's feet laid across him lap as she read a book. He was staring at his daughter with a smile but the moment he looked away, he wished he hadn't.

"Daddy!"

He's on his feet before he can even think of anything else. He sprints toward the crying figure on the ground and feels his heart clench hard in his chest. He can hear Haley screaming behind him but all he can pay attention to is his daughter's left leg resembling a tied up vine. He scoops her up effortless and carries her to the car.

He gives her all the ice-cream she wants for the next three weeks and makes her promise never to climb in trees.

* * *

He teaches Jamie how to drive on a Thursday. He could watch the terror surface Haley's face as his son requested to get his driving permit.

He happily accepted the opportunity but now wished he hadn't. His son's foot seemed attached to the break and it caused him to grow with anxiety he never knew he had.

"Jamie, don't think about it."

He answers like his mother would. "How am I supposed to drive and not think, dad?"

He bites his tongue and reminds himself to be patient.

By the end of the night Jamie can park the car in the driveway in reverse.

* * *

"I hate you!"

The words sting as he heard the slamming of a bedroom door. His sixteen year old daughter was everything he feared and more.

While Jamie resembled a younger version of his Haley, his daughter was all him. Temper, looks and attitude in all.

He feels Haley pat his back but it doesn't stop the grimace wash across his face. "I'll talk to her."

He halts his wife and shakes his head. "I can do it."

"You sure?"

He sure as hell isn't but he rather walk into fire than have his daughter scream those words at his wife. He nods his head and bends down to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

He smiles at the words as he walks up the stairs. His hands are shaking at they grip the rail. He knows that Haley is calling Jamie before he reaches the door. At twenty-three, his son still seems to give his wife better advice than he can when it comes to teenage girls.

He knocks on the door and is answered with a large huff before the door is pulled open.

His daughter has long black hair that's curly like her mothers. Her blue eyes match his own and he finds himself trying to remember not to give in.

"Can we talk?"

She rolls her eyes as she walks back into her bedroom. He takes it as a good sign that she didn't slam the door in his face. "Lydia.."

"I don't see why I can't go to the party. Davis and Jude are going to be there."

He thinks of his wife's best friend, Brooke Davis-Baker and sighs. "I know that but-."

"But what! I'm sixteen!"

"Exactly!" He yells back. His patience has disappeared. "You're sixteen!"

"Whatever. It's not like I'm going to go get knocked up like mom-."

He can't help what happens next but it does. He slaps her straight across the face and it terrifies him. Her harsh words stop as she begins to clutch her face and cry. He feels more like his father in this moment than he has in a long time.

"Nathan.."

He turns with large eyes when he sees the gaze of his wife. From the look in her eyes, he knows she's been standing there for longer than he realized. His hands are shaking. He turns back to his crying daughter and is sure he's crying as well. "I'm-."

She shoves past him and into the arms of her mother.

* * *

He stays up all night. He feels sick to his stomach and he found himself apologizing to his wife more and more as sobs racked his body.

She fell asleep hours ago but he can't seem to join her.

He stands up and makes his way out of their bedroom and down the hall. He starts to head toward Lydia's room but thinks better of it. He doesn't think he could speak without crying.

He walks down the stairs but halts when he sees the familiar black hair from kitchen table.

He clears his throat and watches as his daughter slowly turns around. He's happy her face isn't red from the impact of his hand.

"Lydia, I'm so-."

He's cut off when he feels the impact of his daughter rushing to hug him. He cries into the top of her hair as he holds her close.

* * *

Jamie marries a girl he found in college when he's twenty-five.

Her name is Carla and he's certain Lydia and Haley adore her more than Jamie does.

The wedding is small and it reminds him of when he stood on the beach with his wife all those years ago. She's crying next to him and when she squeezes his hand, he knows she's thinking about it too.

* * *

If he thought being a father was weird, being a grandfather is even weirder. His brother agrees with him as they watch their grandchild run around the river-court.

He's almost forty-five years old but it doesn't seem like it.

Well, he assumes he feels young because Haley makes sure he maintains a well balanced diet. She's been getting crazy into it as of lately.

"Did you ever think we'd be here?"

He turns to his brother and is grateful his hair hasn't grayed as much. "What do you mean?"

Lucas gestures toward the laughing children before them. "Sitting here together with wives, children and these monsters."

He feels a smile on his face as he looks before him. No, he didn't think he would be there but he's happy he is. "No but I'm glad I am."

Lucas smiles wide as he adjusts the glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. "Right back at you, little brother."

* * *

His bones ache all over but he still manages to sit down on next to Haley on the dock by their beach house.

It thinks of the conversation they had years ago and compares it to now.

She turns to him suddenly and he smiles before kissing her forehead.

"I've done everything I've ever wanted to do on this Earth with you."

He smiles at her. "You've given me a wonderful life, Haley James."

She shakes her head but smiles all the same. "I love you the same way I loved you when I was sixteen."

He makes a joke about her not looking a day older than that but she does. Not in a bad way but a very good way. The laugh lines around her mouth are his favorite. He doesn't mind her gray hair and she doesn't mind his beard.

* * *

She leaves him in her sleep.

And he feels the light leave his life.

* * *

When he turns eighty-four, he stands on a beach that seems familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.

He remembers when he saw her for the first time and he remembers when he saw her for the last time.

She was his world and she had given him a beautiful life full of beautiful children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

He wishes she was standing there beside him but he smiles anyway.

She was his own small infinity and he couldn't wait to see her again.


End file.
